Ever feel forced into being someone's friend?

This is a situation i feel that i am in at the moment. Why? i know someone who has casually mentioned that i don't want them as an enemy, as they can do some pretty bad things, and then mentioned that if i ever refused to do something with them then they would no longer like me and i would be their enemy.
Thing is they make me feel pretty uncomfortable and, with it being a guy, the fact it may cause trouble between David and i is another worry i have.
I cant avoid him either, so i guess i'm stuck.

Why do i listen to weather forecasters?

You would think i would learn by now that listening to the weather forecast is a bad idea. Well, not so much listening to it, but believing it.
Today's forecast said "cloudy and drizzle", so i wore a coat, and whats the weather like? Sunny and warm.
I balme my mum. She takes everything "north east tonight" weather presenters say as gospel. And when she says "wear a coat, its got to rain". i do wear a coat.
Just thought i would share my cynasism of weather forecasters with you all lol. And i hope its sunny and warm wherever you all are.

I just feel so alone right now.

If i want any interactions with my friend's, i have to do it online, as they live miles away from me. My boyfriend is too stressed with his stuff for me to unload onto, as i don't wanna give him any more stress.
It would just be nice to have a chat, face to face with someone, once in a while. I don't think that is gonna happen anytime soon.

I am trying to get over my fear of gore.

My boyfriend loves horror movies, he doesn't seem to have a problem with blood and gore.
I do. I really don't think i can watch body parts being hacked off. I don't mind blood but not body part's being removed.
So now i am scared the movies i picked for us to watch have those scenes in and that we will never be able to watch dvds together.
I can't help being squeamish.

I wish rock music would make a comeback in the charts.

I am getting a bit tired of the dance/pop music that the charts are getting full of.
Every song is starting to sound the same, and most of them are just awful (in my opinion anyway).
I would love some variety, for song's to sound different. Am i the only person to feel this way?. Am i the only person who wants decent music to return to the charts?.

I wanna do a fashion blog.

I love clothes and make up and girlie things, so i think that doing a fashion blog would be great for me.
Ok, i don't wear designer clothes or follow trends, but i don't think that matters.
After all style is unique and it would be boring if we all liked (and wore) the same things.
When i get more time i am starting a fashion blog.

I like quirky girl's names.

I write stories and i do use quirky names for my female characters, such as Gracelyn, Tempany, Gypsy, Aleetza and Enna.
I do like original and different names, but nothing weird or stupid (like Moonbeam, for instance), and sometimes i think there can be a fine line between the two.
I would like to think that if i ever have kids i would give them cool/quirky names that they won't hate me for giving them. And something they can spell and pronounce would be good too.

You know 'Home and away' is bad when you'd rather watch 'Neighbours'.

I usually watch them both on 5* (or whatever the channel is called these days) and for the past few days i can't wait for 'home and away' to finish so that i can watch 'neighbours'.
I like a few characters in H&A but either they are bringing in characters i don't like, or, for some odd reason, giving personality transplants to characters, and totally ruining them (Marilyn for example).
And the story just seems to be sex and drugs at the moment. Kinda boring.
I just hope they don't ruin the show for good.

Realized today that i need to leave home soon.

I just feel trapped at home. I love my mum, but i wanna be treated like an adult and be independant and not just my mum's daughter.
That's how people see me now.
I feel like my life has just stopped. I have so much i wanna do, but i think living in a depressing place is making me feel down.
I don't feel that safe where i live, and the shops are crap. Unemployment is high and all people do is have kids.
I have to get out of this place. And soon.

Saw people from college today.

Just popped to the town centre to pick up a couple of thing's and i see 2 people i was at college with (recently).
I haven't seen them for a few weeks and it's nice that we still stop and say hi to each other.
It kinda made my day. That sounds really sad lol.

I think i am a bad girlfriend.

I have the sweetest boyfriend ever and sometimes i feel that i am a shit girlfriend.
Today i was ill and i got a bit moody and emotional. I get like that when i'm tired or ill. But he was his usual sweet self.
I really love him and don't wanna lose him, it's just sometimes i feel that i don't deserve him and worry that one day he is going to figure out that he can do better than me.
I will have to try to be a better girlfriend from now on.

My anxiety seem's to be kicking in....

At the moment i am constantly worrying about stuff.
And worrying about worrying.
I am aware that it's anxiety. I used to suffer panic attacks, and i know the symptoms of anxiety.
I will just have to find some way of dealing with all of my worries in a more productive way other than worrying.

Some thing's i wanna do in my life.

I wanna be a receptionist (or admin assistant). And then a secretary. And then an office manager.
I wanna live in a semi-detached house with a little garden in a nice area.
I wanna stay in a hotel for a while. Just to experience it.
I wanna start my own internet business. It may not make me a millionaire but it's something i wanna do.
I have a lot more things i wanna do. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

I have to change something's in my life.

I can't just sit back when i am so unhappy with the way my life is at the moment.
I need to take action and start doing thing's that are actually going to make my life better.
I have to make a list of everything i wanna change and then take action from there.
My life is a bit of a mess and i am determent to turn my life around. somehow.

Being un-friended by someone on facebook.

It's happened to me twice this week. One friend closed her account and the other one just un-friended me, which i am pissed about.
We do have a 'complicated' past and he's messed me around more times than i care to remember, but i thought that was all in the past.
I was wrong.
We started out as friend's and we have friend's in common and now it's like all the shit we've been through was for nothing.
I should've just cut ties a long time ago and not bothered about trying to remain friend's.

Hayfever symptom's without the hayfever.

That's what i am experiencing at the moment. My mum thinks that i have hayfever but i'm not sure.
Can you have symptoms even when the pollen count is low?.
I am new to hayfever so i don't really know.
I don't have asthma or allergies (that i know of anyway) so i am ruling them out as the cause of the symptoms.
I don't know what i have but i know that i probably will have to find out.

So Dannii Minogue has quit the x factor.

And i quit watching it. Dannii was the only judge i liked and now she's gone i don't think i will watch.
Especially if Tulisa (?) from n-dubz join's. I am not an n-dubz fan. It's not my kinda music. Has she even performed on it?
Maybe if they replace Dannii with a judge i really like (like Pixie Lott or Katy Perry) i may watch it, but i think it may be time for the x factor to come to an end.

The eurovision song contest.

Yes i am watching it. I know, but my mum loves it and makes me watch it with her.
Two song's in and i'm already wanting to kill myself.
I kinda like the 3rd song tho so hopefully it should get better. I'm still not sure if my ears can take listening to Jedward. Or Blue come to that.
I do like Denmarks song (the 3rd song) so i hope that wins. Probably won't but theres no harm wishing.

I'm gonna make a 'fashion folder'.

I have 2 plastic wallets full of magazine fashion pages and i draw fashion sketches so i have decided i am putting them all together in a ringbinder.
I am gonna create a fashion folder. I am gonna put all the clothes i like from the magazine in the folder and all of my sketches. And it will be a bit more organized than it is now.

I have closure on the person i was.

I am determent i am going to finish college. I didn't quit or runaway when things got tough. I can get through situations i hate if i set my mind to it.
I didn't change who i was just to fit in with people. ie, i didn't discuss my sex life and flirt with guys like a lot of girls do.
I spoke to everyone in both my groups and i hung out with the guys not to flirt with them but just because i have more in common with them than some of the girls.
After wednesday i am closing the door on the person i was. In the past year i have worked hard on my confidence and to be a better person. I am the person i wanna be. I have issues but i will deal with them as i go along in my life.
Goodbye to the person who made bad choices and let fear rule her life. Hello to the confident and capable and strong woman i have become.

So...where do you find temporary accomodation?.

Basically, my mum is sick of living where we live. She hates everything about the place she lives.
She has a medical condition and she (and her doctor) think that something is making her ill. She thinks it's the fact she hates the place she lives.
Anyway, today she asked me to try and sort something for me to stay while she looks into her moving. But google just doesn't wanna help me :( And i just dunno where to start looking.

I am inspired by a mannequin i walk past most days.

At college i have to walk past the design block, and there's a mannequin wearing a dress that has inspired me.
I think that if the dress was a bit shorter and had a 'cut-away' back it would be perfect. For me anyway. And then i got thinking about other way's i would change the dress if i was designing it (if that makes sense) and i came up with about 4 different idea's for a dress.
Now if only i could sew......

So the royal wedding is over....

I saw a bit of it last night and i have to say that i actually loved Kate's dress. It was sophisticated yet not too old for her.
She looked beautiful yesterday. And she also looked very happy.

I am not over excited about the royal wedding.

I know that everyone loves (or seem's to anyway) Kate Middleton, but, to be honest, i don't really have an opinion on her.
I think that her style is ok, but sometimes i do think some of her outfit's are a bit old for her, and she seem's ok as a person.
But i don't think enough of her or Prince William to care about their wedding. I am not a royalist anyway so the whole wedding just seem's overhyped and i don't even care about seeing her dress, as i'm not a huge fan of her style.
The whole royal wedding, to me anyway, just seem's to be pointless, between two people who i don't care about.

I have a crazy idea that i'm too scared to share.

I thought about it a few year's ago, and i put it on the 'someday' pile and forgot about it.
But tonight, i thought 'why not?'.
Ok, David will probably hate the idea, and i'm not even sure if we can do it or not. But i think we could make it work, even just to try it out.
Sorry to be cryptic, but i am worried about sharing, just because my idea is so crazy. But maybe not that crazy. I dunno. And when i talk to David i will know how crazy i really am.

Why i won't be cheating on my boyfriend.

People think that just because i talk to a lad at college a lot (at college) then we must be fancy each other.
Well i don't fancy him. I mean, he's ok to talk to but that's all. I keep mentioning my boyfriend to him just in conversation. That's all i am doing with this guy, making conversation.
I have said it many times but i do have an amazing boyfriend. Im very happy with him and i don't need any other guy's attention when i have his.
I would never betray his trust or risk what we have. I know he's a little insecure, (he won't admit it). I also know he'll read this and i just wanna tell him that no guy will ever compare to him. He is the only man i want and i won't ever betray or hurt him.

My 6th day at college.

I got my cv done. I worried for nothing lol.
I also got most of the printouts i needed.
I did have to download an application form for the last bit of the module. I looked for about an hour and then the tutor found one for me. A 12 page one. In the other end of the country. Thank god i don't have to apply for the job.
My 'friend' who may not be my friend anymore (long story) is starting college either next week or the week after. That's gonna be fun.
My file has gone to be assessed and i will find out on Tuesday if it's ok.

Can a long distant relationship really work?.

I was having a conversation earlier with a guy who was engaged to a girl in America. It didn't end well, and i wondered could it ever end well?.
Could you have a successful relationship with someone on the other side of the world? I dunno if you can.
Where's the intimacy?. What do you do when you wanna talk to your partner and there not even in the same time zone as you?.
Maybe people do make it work, and that's great, but i couldn't do it.

My 5th day at college.

Where do i begin?. Well, this morning was basically standing outside the building as the fire alarm went off.
Lunchtime was fun. A guy was telling us about his daughter's boyfriend (he sound's like such a catch...not) and then we got sex education the american way from another lad in my group. He then went on to tell us everything about his sex life (not as fun).
This afternoon we had the most mind-numbing talk about the very exciting subject of how to apply for a job. And then we updated our cv's just to get everything done and then when you're about to press print, you get kicked out and end up losing the cv you've just done.
That was my day at college. I am getting assessed tomorrow. That is gonna be fun. I don't have half the printout's i need and i don't have a cv to attach to my workbook and i completed half of the worksheet's wrong.
College is starting to lose it's charm a little.

Today i decided on my career plan.

I wanna be a receptionist. I can do some voluntary work until i get a job and then be a receptionist. I could also be an administrator. That will work into my plan.
After a while i wanna be a secretary. I will have the skill's as well as the experience.
Then i wanna be an office manager. That is my ultimate job goal. I only realized that today.

My fourth day at college.

Only the two room changes today.
The great egg drop. No, our egg didn't survive it's trip but we had no other disaster's, like bursting balloon's and breaking (additional) eggs.
We have to print out job description's. The problem? we still don't have printer credit's.
I know everyone's name's and talked to everyone, so that mission has been completed.
That's basically been my day at college.

A letter to myself now.

You made it. It's been hard but here you are. Almost 30 and the happiest you've ever been.
You are in a good place. You have someone who you love and who loves you. You have challenges but you get through them. You can't wait to live with him and start your life together. He was worth the wait.
And now you know what you want to do with your life, do it. Don't let anyone push you into doing anything you don't wanna do.
Keep being individual and crazy. Keep being you.
Whenever you get a 'dark' moment, remember how far you've come and what you have gained from it all.
And be proud of all you've acheived. You have proved people wrong and you should be proud.

What i wanna say to my 14 year old self if i could.

You may not be the most popular girl in school, but that's ok.
Why would you want to be friend's with people who only care about getting laid and how skinny they are?.
The 'queen bee' is gonna end up with 3 kid's by 3 different father's by the time she's 25 anyway. And living on some rundown council estate.
You are gonna get your heart broken, but you are gonna meet a man who changes the way you feel about everything.
You may think you're weird but you'll learn to embrace your individuality. Why would you want to be like everyone else anyway? You're special.
Thing's may go wrong but never give up. You have so much to give and never let anyone tell you different.

I have just realized something.....

I do tend to get on better with guys than girl's.
I have a load of male mates and about half a dozen female friend's.
I think it may have something to do with growing up, i was friend's with the popular girls in high school and then, one day, they started bullying me. I don't know why.
Any way, my female friend's are not bitchy and two faced. I don't know why but i just feel very plain next to the 'popular, beautiful' girl's.
I dunno why i feel insecure around the 'perfect' girl's, but i think it may have something to do with the fact that since i was 14, a part of me has always felt like a freak. And even all those year's later, i can't help but feel like that sometimes.

I hate being a 'part time' girlfriend.

I love being with my boyfriend. I love spending time with him. I dont love having to get on the bus home.
I wanna do all the thing's that 'normal' couples do. I wanna watch tv together and argue about who's turn it is to do the dishes. I wanna talk to him until i fall asleep.
At the moment we don't do that. I hate the fact that it's day's apart that we see each other.
I even lied to a girl on my course. What am i meant to say? The truth sound's bad and it was only a little white lie.
I wanna be a full time girlfriend. It kill's me to be apart from him for day's at a time and it get's me down.
I am a woman on a mission and i am determent to get what i want.

My plan for next week at college.

Talk to the people that i don't really talk to in the group.
If doing another roleplay, don't let a guy decide.
Check to make sure that i have done the work right.
Go and get my student number changed (if the office is open).
Try to get in and out of campus without getting lost.
Learn everyone's name's.

I think that's all i have to do next week, college wise.

My third day at college.

Only two room changes today.
We had to do roleplay. Trust me to get a 'role' i didn't want. A wife whose husband lost his wallet. There wasn't a lot left to pick from by the time it came to us.
I died when it came to the 'who survives' roleplay.
We did a listening exercise and had a tour of the library. Thats it until Monday.

My second day at college.

Another 3 room changes today. Six rooms in 10 hours, that has to be some kind of record.
Got my student I.D with the worst picture ever. Not good.
Got the first module completed and started the second. That's good.
The rooms at the college are really cold for some reason.
We know the building well as we have been on floor's 2,3,4,5 and 6 (see the changing rooms bit).
At least i have communicated more with my group today, so that's good. Half the course is about teamwork.

My first day at college.

Apart from the fact we had to change room's 3 times within an hour and i got lost walking to the canteen and back to the room at lunch time, the course got off to an ok start.
We started the first module. Employability skills and, so far, i understand everything. It may take me a couple of day's to get used to how big the campus is, but so far it's good.

I have met my 'dream man'.

The man who can make me laugh, even when he doesn't mean to. The man who will listen to me as i complain. The man who look's after me, and worries about me. The man who put's up with me when i'm moody. The man who support's and encourages me. The man who is my best friend as well as my boyfriend. The man who teases me and let's me tease him back. The man who want' the same thing's as me in life.
I'm with my dream man, and i won't ever want, or need, anyone else to make me happy.

My biggest dating regret.

I went out with this lad. One day i got a text from his phone saying "enjoyed last night. dont want it to be a one off ". I was confused so i asked him about it and he said his mate borrowed his phone and must have sent it to me by accident.
I could believe that. I did. Then a few night's later his mate was having a leaving party. I wasn't invited. I didn't know her so i didn't mind. The next day at work (i worked with him) everyone was stopping talking when i walked into a room. I thought it was strange, but i didn't say anything. The next day i spent the whole day with the lad i was seeing. I get home and my friend text's me saying that she was sorry that i had been dumped. I was confused until he sent me a text saying that he was sleeping with his ex and was getting back with her.
I found out the next day that he and his ex had never broken up and he was still with her. I also found out that he had a reputation for sleeping with girl's he worked with.
Glad i never slept with him. I'm glad thing's didn't work out. My only regret is that i didn't dump the loser first.

i start college in less than 24 hours.

At least it's only for 15 hours a week for 5 weeks. I don't think i could have handled more than that.
I am doing a short Admin course so at least i am going to be doing something i wanna do. And hopefully, this time thing's will go okay and i wont have to drop out.
I may be ok as a part time student. I'm quite looking forward to starting the course. 5 weeks is worth it if i get to do the job i wanna do.

My second (and final) year of college.

I went back the next year. I found a course that was 'vocational' and i could do retail and admin (what i wanted to do). I was doing well, making friend's and then suddenly i get told i am being put on the GCSE course (i'm doing 'too well' on the vocational course).
This was mid term and everyone had made friend's. I was so lonley. And unhappy. I had no friend's on the course and never seeing the friend's i made.
I lasted until christmas and left. Looking back, i wish i fought for what i wanted more.

The reason i left college (twice).

I had a social phobia when i was at high school. It made me painfully shy and i didn't like people looking at me.
First year at college. I was there about a couple of month's when a tutor 'advised' me that i wasn't 'ready' for college, and that i should leave. I did and decided a year later that i would go back and try again. The second time was even more disasterous than the first time....

Would you forgive a cheater?.

I have been cheated on in the past, so i know that it sucks.
I know some relationships can survive one person cheating, but i think once the trust has gone, that's it gone for good.
If my current boyfriend ever cheated on me, i would be devastated. It would break my heart.
And i hope he know's i wouldn't cheat on him. Ever.
I guess it depend's on the couple if you can survive if one person cheat's. I just think if you truly love someone then cheating wouldn't even be on your mind.

Why i love the film 'Cube'.

Apart from the start, i don't think it's gory. (cube zero is a bit more gory). It's more a psychological thriller than a horror. I love it because it was unique at the time.
It's basically 1 set. It only has 7 character's. It doesn't give you answer's at the end (but that's the point of the movie) and the gore is replaced by character interaction's. And the character's personality's also change throughout the movie.
Cube may not be a movie everyone loves, but it's one of my favourites.

I'm feeling more positive today.

After a couple of days of feeling a bit down (my last post, for example) i feel more positive and upbeat today :) so that's good.
I just have to find a way to turn the negative energy into positive energy and i should be fine.

I wish i wasn't so....clumsy sometimes.

Everytime i leave the house looking nice, i end up looking like a windswept panda. I can't eat anything without dropping half of it all over me. I try to be 'hot and sexy' and i don't succeed.
Sometimes i wish i was like the girl's who are beautiful and funny and have no trouble thinking of thing's to say to people. Instead i am me.
That's not a problem 99% of the time, but sometime's i would like to be the 'perfect' girl.

What song best describes who you are?.

I think it would have to be Meredith Brooks 'washed my hand's'. I was listening to the song recently and i just realised, after hearing the song dozen's of times, that i actually 'get' the lyrics.
It's about a woman saying that no matter how many mistakes she made in the past, she's changed and she's not going to appologise for them anymore, as she has changed and moved on.
In the past, i've made mistakes, but i've changed. I think that song identifies exactly how i feel.

How fab is your mum?.

My mum is fab. She is an inspiration to me. She put her life on hold to care for my housebound Grandma. She battled with post-natal depression. She's had more money problem's than i can remember. She's suffered her share of trauma, but she survived everything.
She had her family (except for her mum and 1 auntie) turn against her for being a single parent. She survived a really bad relationship.
She has taught me that even when things look really bad, you can't give up on life. It's too precious.

Can you help who you fall in love with?.

I don't think we can. I think love is something that can't, and shouldn't, be controlled.
Attraction and lust are completely different. I'm talking about when you meet someone and you just feel a connection with that person. That's my definition of love.
And i don't mean cheating either. There's no excuse for being unfaithful.
Life is too short to throw away love. It's too precious. When it comes along, you should hold on to it. Love is a special thing that not everyone get's to experience.

What's worse: Job hunting or house hunting?.

House hunting: You find somewhere you love. The area is great. The house is your dream house. Everything is just perfect. Except one thing. The price. You just can't afford to rent it.

Job hunting: You find the perfect job. It's something that you've always wanted to do. It's near where you live and you can see yourself doing the job. The problem?. You don't have the experience they are requiring you to have. You apply, but you don't hear anything.

I really don't know which is worse. And i'm doing both.

would you ever have cosmetic surgery?.

I don't think i ever would, unless it was for medical reason's. I am a bit insecure about my boob's and, sometimes i think that if i had the money i would consider a boob job, but then i think about the risk's and the fact the implant's can burst, and i think 'never'.
Plus i don't think i would like my boob's to feel 'not real' lol.
It's so easy to change thing's you're not happy with, but what if you can't stop?. I think i'll stick to my imperfection's. It's safer.

I don't like gory horror movie's.

I am ok with blood. I actually like shooting and explosion's in movie's. But i don't like gory horror movie's.
I just have a thing about death and watching really gruesome deaths in film's just makes me feel very sick. I just cant watch people being hacked to death and losing several body part's. That freaks me out. It alway's has. I just get freaked out about death. I've been like that since i was a little girl and i'm still like that now i'm a grown up.

Radio censorship has gone mad.

My local radio station has just played Rihanna's 's&m' and instead of just beeping out the word's 'sex', 'whip's' and 'chain's', they went one better.
The female presenter kept shouting 'cheese' over the 1st chorous and then they played horse noise's over the rest of the song.
It sounded ridiculous. Is this really what censorship is coming too? Cheese and horse noises?.
I'd rather they just not play the song's they are censoring rather than making them sound totally idiotic by adding animal noises.

My friend leaves today :( .

I went to see her earlier to give her a card and a present (a lavender scented candle set). There were no tears :) I can get a bit emotional, but no tears is good lol.
And today start's a new chapter in my life too. All my friend's are moving on with their lives, and it's time i do the same.
I am focusing on the positive's and neglecting the negative's. I am going to live the life i wanna live. No matter what.

Have you ever wanted to leave your life behind and start over?.

Go to a place that no-one know's you. Change your name. Just create a new you.
I have to admit i've thought about it. Sometime's life seem's so boring that i daydream about how my life could be.
But i don't think i would ever wanna leave my life, and everything in it, and start afresh.
I get why people do it, though. Some people don't have a choice. Some people have to make new lives for themselves. I just don't think i could do it unless i was forced to. No matter how exciting it seem's.

Why are advert's so annoying?.

Some of the tv ad's at the moment are just plain annoying. I don't know why the advertiser's /companies think we would buy the product's after we have been subjected to the awful ad's.
Insurance company ad's are the worst offender's, i think. And also 'personal injury' ad's are really annoying too (and i worked for a claim's company). Beauty product ad's also annoy me. And i hate ad's that have nothing to do with the product they are trying to sell. What's the point in that?.

Should both partner's in a relationship make an equal effort?.

It takes two people to make a relationship work. So my question is: Should both people make an equal effort?.
Is it ok for one person to keep texting and calling the other person and making all the plan's?.
Is it ok for one partner to go 'awol' for day's and not make contact?. Is it fine for one person to take the other for granted?.
Is it really a relationship if it's just one person making an effort and the other person just sitting back and letting them?.

Dita Von Teese.

I love Dita. She is one of my 'inspiration's'.
She brought burlesque into pop culture. She's classy. She has her own style and she's created her own persona.
She has her own style and she isn't afraid to express herself.
She's an idol of mine because she isn't afraid of being who she is, and she inspires me to be feminine and not to care if i am a little different.

Burlesque dancing isn't sleazy.

I love dancing. And i love burlesque dancing. I perform a little routine in my bedroom, where no- one can see. I don't strip, just dance.
I hate how people call burlesque sleazy. It isn't. It's about femininity and glamour. It's about being sexy and naughty and still being ladylike. It's about embracing your body and loving it. You don't have to be thin to do burlesque. You don't have to be athletic or super fit. All you have to do is let go of your inhabitions.

So i made the right decision after all.

When i met my boyfriend, i was kinda seeing someone but he wasn't exactly enthusiastic about dating me. I went on a date with my David and i had such a good time that i knew i wanted to be with him, so i had to tell the other guy that i had met someone else.
He didn't take it well.
Today i found out people he worked with hates him. He even get's his mother to fight his battles for him. He's 31.
I know i sound like a bitch but i could never have fallen for him. I have no respect for him.

Tonight was just what i needed.

Been feeling a bit dis-connected from my friend's recently, until tonight. I've been talking to a very good friend and he put me as number one on his friend's list :) that made me happy.
Just by having a catch up made me realize that we have the kind of friendship that can survive not talking everyday. I should make more of an effort to talk to him more. He helped me through a difficult time and we will alway's be there for each other. That's what count's at the end of the day.

Are we too shallow?.

Is it true we put look's over personality?. I admit i've done it in the past, and it didn't work out too well.
My boyfriend think's he's outta shape, but i think he's hot. What makes him hot in my eye's is the fact he is cute and adorable but he also makes me laugh and is good to me. I don't care that he's put on a couple of pound's.
Look's can fade. They can be mis-leading. Someone's personality is all that matter's at the end of the day. Sometimes beautiful looking people are actually the ugly one's.

Why i can't give blood.

I once asked about how i would become a blood donor, and the reply i recieved was "you can't".
The reason? i can't even have a simple blood test done without the nurse/ doctor having to poke around for a good 10/15 minutes because it seem's i have no vein's. I actually think the right side of me has no blood at all lol as they can never get blood from my right arm.
So i can't be a blood donor. My blood seem's to be in short supply and i just don't have any blood going spare.

Could you be an internet addict?.

I googled internet addiction as i wondered if it actually exsisted. It does.
Reading about it made me question how much we do rely on the internet, and could we live without it?. I couldn't live without it. I have a blog to write, and friend's to talk to on facebook.
So i rely on the internet, but am i addicted to it?. What would i do if i couldn't have the internet?. Does my life revolve around the internet too much?.
I don't know, but i do know that i can waste several hour's on it doing nothing.

Rihanna's s&m.

I may be bad, but i'm perfectly good at it ;)
I love this song. After 'Take a bow' it's my favourite Rihanna song. It's fun and sexy and it makes me wanna get up and dance.
I don't get what all the fuss is about with the video either.
Ok, the song is raunchy, but it's not like Rihanna released a porn movie as a video. Good for her for pushing the boundaries.
I think Rihanna is going to be around for a long time. I hope she keep's making awesome song's.

My boyfriend mean's the world to me.

He is the man of my dream's. He tick's every box of my 'dream guy' list. I really can't imagine my life without him.
He isn't just my boyfriend, he is also my best friend (yeah, that sound's cheesy). I can talk to him about anything and everything, and he alway's make's me feel better. He's fun to be around. He just make's my life better. And i just wanted to tell him just how special he is to me.

Am i a fashionista?

I don't read Vogue. Or spend thousand's of pound's on clothes. And i don't really dress in the latest trend's. So that wouldn't make me a fashionista.
Or would it?. Fashion is about individuality and expression, and the clothes i wear are an extension of the person i am. I think clothes should express who you are as a person, and i like being a little 'different' and a little quirky. I don't go OTT but i like to stand out a bit. I don't like dressing the same as everybody else.

Today's been a good day (so far).

I was late meeting my boyfriend. By half an hour. But except for that it was fun.
We looked at tv's and then we had lunch at mcdonalds (we sat at a dodgy table) and then we looked at t-shirt's and belt's.
I like shopping with my boyfriend. I've been there when he's bought stuff before, and i like 'advising' him on his clothes. It's all part of the girlfriend duty i think.
I do miss him so much when we're apart, but it help's that we have fun when we are together.

Girlie thing's i've never got the hang of....

Hair removal cream. Eyebrow plucking. Walking in stilettos. Getting my hair poker straight (it refuses). Painting my toenails (i end up painting my toes too). French manicures. Stopping ladders in tight's. The pedicure's with the fish (i don't want fish anywhere near my feet). Leave in conditioner.
There's probably a lot of thing's that i haven't got the hang of yet lol.

What would you rather have: Money or love?

I'd pick love everytime. Yeah, it would be cool to have money, but you can't snuggle up to money while watching tv or lying in bed. You can't go out on romantic walk's with money.
Money may buy you everything in the world, but can it make lonliness go away? or make you like yourself more? or even mend a broken heart?.
It may sound cheesy, but sometimes love can do more than money ever could.

How do i make up for the past?

I think i have to learn from my mistakes. I have to stop living in the past and remind myself that i've grown up and i've changed.
I wanna be a success. I wanna settle down. I dont wanna dream my life away. I wanna live it. I wanna make the people i love proud of me. I wanna have my own house and make my boyfriend happy. I wanna be a good daughter, a good girlfriend and a good friend.
I dont wanna live in the past. I have a bright future and im gonna live in it, not in the dark past.

My favourite song's by some more of my favourite singer's.

Martina Mcbride: Wrong again.
Celine Dion: To love you more.
Barbra Streisand: Woman in love.
Sheryl Crow: My favourite mistake.
Alanis Morissette: Hand's clean.
Shelby Lynne: All of a sudden you dissapeared.
Faith Hill: The hard way.
Anastacia: Cowboys and kisses.
Dolly Parton: Jolene.
Sarah Mclachlan: Possession.
Kendall Payne: Supermodels.
Shania Twain: Home aint where his heart is anymore.
Meredith Brooks: What would happen?.
Vonda Shepard: Will you marry me?.
Sophie B Hawkins: I need nothing else.

The person i am now is.......

Not afraid of taking chances. Not afraid of being in love. Is able to commit to one man. Is happy being in a relationship. I express myself. I stand up for myself. I am confident in my abilities. I am not afraid to face problem's. I dont run away from problem's. I can stick to a job, no matter how boring it get's. I am fun and friendly. I can get over my shyness. I am not afraid to say i am in love. The only attention i need is from my boyfriend, and i dont want any other male attention. Im the real me now.

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life.

I didn't get my GCSE's at school. I didn't stick at college. In some previous jobs ive quit when thing's have got tough. I dated guy's with issue's so i didn't have to face mine, I never followed my dream's, I made an idiot of myself many times, i let people control my thought's, i didn't stand up for myself.
I could go on, but i wont.
Half of the problem was the lack of confidence i had in myself. The other half, i think i wanted to be 'carefree and free-spirited'. But i was just making myself unhappy.

I've made some cringe-worthy mistakes when it comes to men.

Im not proud of my past. Looking back, no wonder not many of my crushes liked me back.
I was the girl you dont want. I told all my friend's i liked him. I would go out of my way to talk to him (pratically stalk him). Even when i knew he had a girlfriend, i would still hang around and hope he would fall for me. I would change myself for every crush i had.
I once even gave my number to every lad i met.
I was humiliated several times. I was desperate. Looking back, i hate how i acted back then.

I wish i voted for Olly Murs on X factor.

I liked Joe Mcelderry on x factor. I loved his voice, and although i liked Olly, I wanted Joe to win.
And then he did. And im not been funny, but he's made some not very good song's since winning (which is a shame).
But i love every song Olly has released and his album is fantastic. I wish i had voted for him on x factor. Looking back, he was more versatile than Joe.
I may be a little late, but i am officially team Olly.

Some of my favourite song's by my favourite artist's.

Bon Jovi: Always.
Katy Perry: Waking up in vagas.
Pink: U + ur hand.
Lady Gaga: Poker face.
Rihanna: Take a bow.
Adele: Chasing pavement's.
Stereophonics: Bartender and the thief.
Britney: Born to make you happy.
Christina: Keep's gettin' better.
Madonna: Into the groove.
Jennifer Lopez: Love dont cost a thing.
Saturdays: Karma.
Pixie Lott: Hold me in your arms.
Enrique: Escape.
Mcfly: I'll be ok.
Overtones: Gambling man.
Cher: Just like Jesse James.

Was Audrey Hepburn the most sophisticated woman ever?

I think she was. I watch her movies and i just think she looked amazing.
She is one of my all time idol's just because she was classy and sophisticated.
I think Holly Golightly is my favourite ever movie heroine. The reason is simple. Audrey Hepburn gave an amazing performance as Holly. She showed a vulnerability that made me identify with Holly.
Audrey is like Marilyn Monroe in my eyes. A true legend who will live on forever.

I have way too much stuff.

I didn't realize until today that i do have way too much stuff. Im not quite sure how i accomulated so much stuff, but i have.
I didn't believe my mum when she said that all of the cupboards in the house had my stuff in. It's only now when i went in to get something i realize she is right. I have enough stuff for 6 people. I dont even realize i have half of it.
I think i will have to get rid of a lot of it.

Im no longer comparing myself to other girl's

I may not look like Jordan, but im pretty. Im not 'fake pretty' im just 'me pretty'.
Im not a size 4 but im not fat either. Im a healthy, curvy size 14.
I dont have a zillion friend's but i do have people in my life who love and care about me.
Im not a genius, but im smart. Yes, im girly and scatty but at least im not boring or dull.
I may be moody at times, but the other times im fun.
I may not have the biggest boobs in the world, but they're all mine.
Im just me and that's all i can be. Myself.

Diane Kruger.

She is my style crush. She always looks amazing on the red carpet. I haven't disliked anything she has worn yet.
She always looks stylish and sophisticated and glamourous.
She is a former model, so, of course, she is beautiful. Plus she's dating my teen crush (well, of one my teen crushes) , Joshua Jackson. Also i think she's a really good actress. I think i actually wanna be Diane Kruger lol.

My friend leaving in less than a month.

She and her partner are moving to be closer to his daughter, and at first, i was sad that she was leaving, but now im ok with it.
We both have changed in the 5+ years i have known her. She has set up her own (part time) business and developed a happy relationship with her partner (after a lot of up's and down's).
Im moving on in my life too. I am in a happy relationship and im growing up (not acting like a teenager). Im not getting sad about the future, im actually looking forward to it.

Why i love the tv show 'Monk'.

It's my favourite show (when it was on anyway). I loved the whole quirkiness of the show, and the fact it had the ability to make you laugh one moment and cry the next.
The show also had some bizzare murder mysteries (like how could a man who had been in a coma for years have commited a recent murder? and also, one episode had a chimp as the prime suspect in a shooting).
Whenever i watch Monk i am put in an instant good mood, and that' another reason i loved the show.

Cher (the superstar, not the x factor one).

Everybody calls Madonna the 'queen of pop' but i wonder if the title should really belong to Cher.
After all, she has been around since the 1960's and, like Madonna, has re-invented herself more than enough times.
She, unlike Madonna (who i do love, by the way), is also a successful actress and has been nominated for an oscar (if my memory is correct).
I think Cher should be crowned ultimate queen of pop.

Why do tv show's make college/ uni look so glamourous?

I never went to uni but i did go to college and it was less than glamourous.
All we did was wait around for tutor's to come and teach us and sitting in the canteen with a friend who was more than a little obsessed with a tutor and she would sit in the canteen and wait for him for hours on end instead of going to lessons.
College was like high school for me. Not good. I dont think i would go back to college if i had the chance. I dont think i could go back to being a student at the grand old age of 30.

I am a girl who loves meaninful lyrics.

When i hear a song for the first time, i listen to the lyrics over the music. I love songs that have meaningful lyrics. I dont like a song just because it's upbeat or you can dance to it.
I used to just listen to cheesy pop bands and boy bands when i was a teenager, but as i got older, i started listening to more 'mature' music and loved it.
I may not have the coolest taste in music, but the music i do listen to represents who i am as a person.

My top 5 favourite bands.

1. Bon Jovi: I love all their song's and never get tired of them.
2. They might be giants: Quirky and a bit random and not very 'mainstream'.
3. Stereophonics: I love the lyric's of their songs. Most of their songs really are mini stories. And some of them are really dark.
4. ABBA: Yes, really. They changed pop music and that's why they are more than some cheesy pop group.
5. Savage Garden: They made beautiful and meaningful song's.

My favourite song of all time is....

They might be giants 'Birdhouse in your soul'. At first, it doesn't seem to be anything, just a random song, but if you really listen to the song it's actually very meaningful. I think so anyway. I think it's saying that even if you think that you're alone and you have nobody, you actually do have somebody looking out for you and you're not alone after all.
Plus it's very upbeat and a 'happy' song. I will never get tired of hearing it, and that's why it's my favourite song.

I was watching 'Chuck' earlier and i realized...(spoiler alert)

Sarah and Chuck have to be one of my favourite tv couples. It started out as Chuck having unrequinted love for Sarah, but after a while we (the viewer) realize that Sarah is in love with Chuck too and then when they get a chance to run off and be together, he doesn't want to and then (eventually) they become a real couple. And, yeah, they have problems but they get through them.
They make a great team, and that makes them a great couple in my opinion.

International woman's day.

I think that it's good that women are celebrated for the thing's we do to make the world a better place, but while i was raised by a pro-woman (not really a feminist) i prefer equality over pro-feminism.
I think men and women should be equal. I think that men get just as bad deal as women do sometimes. Yeah some men can be bastards but some girl's can be bitches.
I wonder when 'international men's day' is. Do they even have one? if not then someone should start one.

I do sound really depressed sometimes.

Im really not. in 'real life' i am quite an upbeat person. I think it's just the fact that i write about life situations on here makes me sound more depressed than i actually am.
I am going to try to be a bit more upbeat on here from now on. Unless something really pisses me off and then i will be a bit moody, but the general tone of this blog will be more upbeat (hopefully lol).

I dont know who the people are who actually are better off on benefits.

I am not one of those people. I cant believe how little my boyfriend and i are going to have to live on when we move in together.
Luckily i am good at budgeting. Well, ive read a lot about it so i think we should be ok.
I just cant believe that people are actually better off on jobseekers allowance. They must have kid's or something. Why are couples without kids and single people without kids suddenly becoming discrimanated against?

Sorting out finances.

I never thought i could enjoy dealing with financial stuff, but i am enjoying it. weird lol.
Maybe it's because i want to move in with my boyfriend so badly, and in order to do that i have to look into the financial situation, maybe that' why im enjoying it.
Im learning about stuff i didn't know before. Thing's like credit union's. I was worried that we may struggle, but i know that if we budget we will be fine.

The new brother's in "Home and away".

They've only been in 2 episodes, but i already want the new brother's in "home and away" to leave.
I dont like macho-macho men in real life, and on tv they are even worse. And the 3 brother's on H&A are no exception.
I know a lot of people think they're hot, but i dont. I think they're annoying, and to be honest, there's enough annoying character' on H&A at the moment without adding another 3 to the cast.

Jane Russell

I just read that Jane Russell has died. I am not familiar with a lot of her acting roles, but i love her in 'Gentlemen prefer blondes'.
Her character, Dorothy, is sassy and sarcastic and loyal to Marilyn Monroe's character (Lorelai). I adore Marilyn so much, and any actress that can make me like her character more than Marilyn's character has to be good.
It's sad Jane Russell died, but hopefully she will live on in her film's for generation's to come, just like Marilyn will.

T-Shirt's with skulls on.

I go shopping with my boyfriend and i've noticed that there are lot's of men's T-Shirt's with skull' on them.
And i do mean a lot. Almost every men's T-Shirt's i pick up/ look at has a skull on it.
It got me thinking. Do men like skull's? Was the need of skull T-Shirt's too great to ignore? im not sure why there are lots of T-shirt's with skull's on them but they're there.

I know it's a crazy idea but...

I want to move. There's a million reason's why i cant move yet, but that shouldn't stop me.
I know that it's crazy idea but i wanna set a date and have a place by that date. I know im not the only person to be involved in the decision, but i hope we can both set a date.
I am inspired by my friend up and leaving in a few week's (without any planning) and i wanna start my new life. I wanna find a place and settle down, and i know it's crazy but i think i want it more than anything else in the world.

I wanted to be a fashion designer.

I am pretty much obsessed with Project Runway. I wanted to be a fashion designer as a teenager, i was always drawing clothes and sketching design's. I still do sometimes, but i realized a long time ago i wouldn't last 5 minutes in the fashion world. I love fashion but i dislike the fashion world sometimes (the un-realistic models, the bitchyness etc). I cant sew either. My passion for fashion is staying a hobby and not something i ever wanna do for a career.

Am i a good girlfriend?

I do wonder if i am a good girlfriend. I can be moody sometimes (especially when im tired) and i get a bit over excited by stupid things and im impatient. I think the fact i worry about my boyfriend (he get's ill quite a bit, bless him) could be classed as being a bit clingy (i hope im not clingy) and i do complain to my boyfriend quite a bit when i have a bad day.
I worry that i am a bitch to my (adorable) boyfriend sometimes and i may push him away by being moody.

Katy Perry.

I love Katy Perry. I love her music and style and the fact she's sassy and fiesty and fun.
There's not a lot i dont like about Katy Perry, except one thing.
Her husband.
I have never been a Russell Brand fan, and never understood what women saw in him. I dont find him funny and i hate the way he talk's.
I dont share Katy's taste in men, but i love / admire her so much that it doesn't matter. She's still one of my idol's.

Why i love Vonda Shepard's music.

Some people wont know who she is, while other's may remember her for being the singer in "Ally Mcbeal."
Vonda Shepard has made two amazing albums "It's good Eve"recorded before "Ally mcbeal"and "By 7:30"made during "Ally Mcbeal" and both albums are full of meaningful and emotional lyrics, and i can identify with most of the song's.
Plus Vonda's voice is filled with emotion and it all add's to the beauty of the songs.
She may not be popular, but she is one of my favourite singer/ songwriters.

Make up products i love.

Collection 2000 kohl eyeliner. Black.
Miss sporty kohl eyeliner. Black.
Bodycare waterproof Mascara. Black.
Nivea lip balm.
Collection 2000 hotlights lip gloss. Number 5.

I mainly get my make up from Boots and Superdrug and Bodycare, and i love Collection 2000 and Miss sporty products and always try out any new products in their ranges. I also like Rimmel cosmetics too.

Columbo.

I love watching Columbo. He is one of my favourite tv detectives (along with Monk, probably my favourite tv detective).
I love how we, the viewer, know who the killer is at the start, and then about 20 minutes in, Columbo arrives and he seems to know instantly who the killer is. He pretends to be a bit dumb and silly, but he's actually very smart. I love how, sometimes, it seem's that the killer is gonna get away with it, and then Columbo just does something and they confess to the murder.

Would 'Cheryl Tweedy' have been as sucessful as 'Cheryl Cole'?.

If Cheryl Cole hadn't married a footballer and spent millions of pound's making herself look beautiful, would she have been as sucessful?.
My thinking is no. She was some chav council estate girl who likes to assualt people in toilets, and has "limited" talents.
I dont think Cheryl Tweedy would have been asked to judge on the X Factor, or have a solo career or be the "nation's sweetheart".
I think Cheryl Tweedy's career would have dried up once 'Girls Aloud' ended.

Savage Garden: Savage Garden album.

I haven't listened to it for a while so i put it on now and i forgot how much i love it.
I think it's one of the best albums ever made. I love every song, and the lyric's are beautiful and meaningful and bittersweet.
"To the moon and back" is my favourite song on the album, closely followed by "Santa Monica"and "Carry on dancing".
I also loved the "Affirmation"album. I think it's a shame they only made 2 albums before they split, as both albums are fantastic (In my opinion).

Come dine with me contestants.

It makes me wonder why people apply to go on "come dine with me" when they hate certain types of food.
This is the show where, basically, you have to eat what's put in front of you.
It's different if you have allergies, but im on about people who seem to like nothing.
I dislike certain foods and that is the reason why you will never see me on "come dine with me".

Baseball Jackets

When they first arrived in the shop's i didn't really like Baseball jacket's, but now i want one.
I thought they were a bit too 'tomboy' for me, but ive seen ton's of girl's wearing them and they do look good. Im thinking when the weather gets a bit better i could wear it over a little top and team it up with jeans. Or wear it with a summery dress and heels.

Exercise.

I am not a sporty person. Far from it. Whenever i watch sport on tv i feel tired just watching them.
There's only about 3 forms of exercise i like. Walking. Not over hills or anything like that, but to the shop's and around the shopping centre.
I also like dancing, im always dancing around the house like a mad woman. Usually to Rihanna or Britney or Lady Gaga.
The other form of exercise i like is sex. I dont need to explain that one more.
Ok im not athletic, but im not unfit either and im happy with that.

Remakes.

Is it just me who feel's that there's nobody in the film/ tv world that has any creativity left? the reason i say that is because there seem's to be a lot of remakes being made.
Dallas, Buffy, Charlie's Angels, The bodyguard and wonder woman are just a few of the remakes we have to look forward to, plus there's lots of thing's already being remade ( A team, Hawaii 5-0, Starsky and Hutch, Miami Vice).
What's going to happen when they've run out of thing's to remake?.

Another poem i wrote : Why?

I wrote this poem to "impress" someone a few years ago (it didn't work). I put it on a website somewhere but i cant remember where lol.

You know i'm in love with you
So you flirt just like a friend.
And i cant let go of the feeling
That i'll be devastated if it ends.
Everytime i think im over you.
You do something to make me fall in love again.
And i fear i wont ever win
Is hurting me your favourite game?

Jackie Collins.

I read my first Jackie Collins novel when i was about 14 and i loved it.
I love how she writes strong, female characters. I know a lot of people think that her book's are tacky, but reading her book's are pure escapism and that's why i like to read.
To relax and take my mind off the world for a while.
After reading a couple of her book's i was inspired to write a short story, then another and another, and that is why Jackie Collins is my favourite author.

Pushy sales people.

I hate how in the shopping centre, you are walking along, just going about your business when some sales person from one of the stall's in the middle of the floor decides to ambush you.
If i was interested in the product, i would go and look at it. I have legs. I dont need to be collected and taken to it. And then, if you stop and listen to them, they wont let you get away.
I get that some of them work on commission, but is that a reason to ambush people?
And is it just me who is annoyed by them?

Is Lady Gaga becoming boring?

I love Lady Gaga's music a lot. When she first became famous i loved her uniqueness and her creativity and the fact that she was a bit outrageous.
But recently ive not been as excited about her style. At the Grammy's she 'hatched' out of an egg, and i just felt like i'd seen it all before.
Everywhere she goes it's another bizzare outfit. I get it's who she is, but, to me, it's getting boring. A lot of artist's re-invent themselves and i wonder will Gaga ever do it? Im thinking probably not.

Inspiration.

I know that a lot of people find inspiration in lots of ways.
Some people find inspiration in building's or art or by nature. I find inspiration in music.
I think of song's as mini stories. And there's a lot of song's that i love, so when i listen to them i ask myself "what is the story of the song?".
When i answer that question, i think about the start of the story, what had happened before the start of the song, and then that's how i get an idea for a story.

A poem i wrote: Crazy.

This is just so crazy
Feel like im going out of my mind.
How can one situation's solution
Be so hard to find?
Thought about doing anything
To get me out of here.
Now i wont be satisfied
Without facing my fears.

Not the best poem in the world, i know, but i just thought i would post a poem on here. I write very short stories so i may post one of them on here too sometime.

Why are some girl's so bitchy?

I was on a bus earlier and three girl's were sitting near me and 1 of the girl's was being really bitchy to 1 of the others.
She was making comment's about her weight, and how she looked, and kept calling her 'odd'.
I know from experience that 'friend's' who are bitchy and make fun of you aren't really friend's at all and it can really affect your confidence.
I just wonder why some girl's have to be bitchy. Do they have to make everyone else feel bad to make themselves feel good?

Today was a good day.

Sometimes it takes very little to realise how happy you really are.
Today i spent time with my boyfriend, at his, alone. It was great to have some 'us' time, and just being able to snuggle up and watch tv, and finding stuff on the internet, and looking for a place to live.
And i know it sound's boring, but today was great and one of the best days ive ever had, and it's made me realise how happy i am.

Eyeliner.

I love eyeliner (especially black). It's one of my make up "must-have's" but i hate liquid eyeliner.
It may have something to do with the fact that sometimes my eyes water sometimes when i put something near my eye, and by the time the liquid eyeliner dries, it's all smudged and i end up looking like a panda (not a good look).
I love Kohl eyeliner though. I find that no matter how my eyes 'are', the kohl eyeliner always applies. And no drying time :-).

I hate the term 'Real Women'.

I really do hate the term ' real women'. The reason i hate it is because every woman is 'real' (unless she had a sex change, and then she wouldn't be so 'real'. I didn't mean that to sound horrible, by the way, so sorry if it does).
The 'reality' is that every woman is different. We come in all shapes and sizes, and we are all 'real'.

The royal wedding.

I must be the only person in the country who couldn't care less about Wills and Kate's wedding.
The way the press go on about it you would think they were the first couple to ever get married.
I get he's the future king and all that, but the fact is Prince Charles gets a turn to 'rule' the country before him, so it's not like he's gonna become king anytime soon.
Maybe the fact im not a royalist is why im not excited by the hype. And also because of the tacky merchandise on sale to 'remember' the day.

Rihanna.

I love Rihanna. I think that her music is fantastic, she is beautiful (she would look stunning wearing a bin liner), and i love her style.
I am, however, a little tired of picking up a magazine and her being in it.
Yes, i get she's popular and the entire population (me included) likes her, but does she really have to be in every single magazine? Is there anything about her we dont already know?.

Size zero models.

Why do catwalk models have to be a size zero?
When will fashion designers realize that women come in all shapes and sizes?
Does the fashion industry not realize that women of all sizes wear clothes, and not just the size zero models who are showing off the clothes?
I think catwalk models should be all sizes and shapes in order to represent the fact that women (who buy the clothes) are all shapes and sizes.

Things that annoy me on tv.

1: Killer's on the news are always described as being 'lovely people'.
2: The 'after you're gone' phrase used in life insurance ads.
3: Endless repeats of 'come dine with me' (even though i love it).
4: Tv announcers talking over the credits of films (when there's a decent song playing).
5: Award shows being filmed days before being shown (and you knowing exactly who wins everything).
7: 'celebrity' reality shows.
I was gonna do a 'top ten' but i couldn't think of ten lol, so its my 'top seven' lol.

Radio stations.

I cant help but wonder why radio stations play the same songs dozens of times a day, and yet there is some fantastic artists out there who get very little, if any, airplay.
I really wish radio stations had the balls to stop playing chart music and actually play less 'manufactured' artists for a change.
There is a lot of great artists around at the moment who deserve the airplay, but do they have to be played every hour? do we have to be force-fed songs just to buy them? is the music really that forgettable?

Could you handle being famous?

We've all thought at some point ( i guess ) that it would be so cool to be famous. Free clothes, adoring fans, cool parties. What would there be to hate?
The paperazzi following you everywhere. Everyone judging what you wear. Being called fat or anerexic. Having no privacy. Having people say awful things about you. Could you deal with that every single day?
I certainly couldn't. I wouldn't last a week in the spotlight. I may be a 'nobody' but i like it that way.

Am i the only person not to have a 'fuck buddy'?

Im not judging anyone, but i was raised to believe that sex meant something, and i didn't just jump into bed with anyone who asked.
Everyone seems to have a 'fuck buddy' except me, and i am cool with that. I dont think i could just have sex with someone without getting feelings for that person (especially if he was good). That's just the way i am.
I know fuck buddies are great for a lot of people, and thats cool, but it's just not for me.

Marilyn Monroe

There is no doubt that Marilyn Monroe is my idol. She is timeless. I dont think she will ever be forgotten, and rightly so.
She was potrayed as a dumb blonde but she was far more than that. She was a survivor.
Reading quotes of her, she seemed to be intelligent and bright, and not just some 'dumb blonde'.
I love how she was feminine, sweet, sexy, innocent and glamourous (everything i hope i am) and Marilyn inspires me everyday to be the person i am: Just a girl who does the best she can.

The Word 'Celebrity' is over-used.

I think the media over use the word 'celebrity'.
Just because someone appeared on a reality show doesn't make them a celebrity. Just because someone was in a band / group 10 plus years ago and has done nothing since, that doesn't mean they're celebrities.
Do we really need Z list 'celebrities'? Would the world come to a sudden end if we didn't have 'celebrity' tv shows anymore? Some of the Z listers seem to make a career out of doing 'celebrity' tv shows, but does that really make them celebrities?