I don't like gory horror movie's.

I am ok with blood. I actually like shooting and explosion's in movie's. But i don't like gory horror movie's.
I just have a thing about death and watching really gruesome deaths in film's just makes me feel very sick. I just cant watch people being hacked to death and losing several body part's. That freaks me out. It alway's has. I just get freaked out about death. I've been like that since i was a little girl and i'm still like that now i'm a grown up.

Radio censorship has gone mad.

My local radio station has just played Rihanna's 's&m' and instead of just beeping out the word's 'sex', 'whip's' and 'chain's', they went one better.
The female presenter kept shouting 'cheese' over the 1st chorous and then they played horse noise's over the rest of the song.
It sounded ridiculous. Is this really what censorship is coming too? Cheese and horse noises?.
I'd rather they just not play the song's they are censoring rather than making them sound totally idiotic by adding animal noises.

My friend leaves today :( .

I went to see her earlier to give her a card and a present (a lavender scented candle set). There were no tears :) I can get a bit emotional, but no tears is good lol.
And today start's a new chapter in my life too. All my friend's are moving on with their lives, and it's time i do the same.
I am focusing on the positive's and neglecting the negative's. I am going to live the life i wanna live. No matter what.

Have you ever wanted to leave your life behind and start over?.

Go to a place that no-one know's you. Change your name. Just create a new you.
I have to admit i've thought about it. Sometime's life seem's so boring that i daydream about how my life could be.
But i don't think i would ever wanna leave my life, and everything in it, and start afresh.
I get why people do it, though. Some people don't have a choice. Some people have to make new lives for themselves. I just don't think i could do it unless i was forced to. No matter how exciting it seem's.

Why are advert's so annoying?.

Some of the tv ad's at the moment are just plain annoying. I don't know why the advertiser's /companies think we would buy the product's after we have been subjected to the awful ad's.
Insurance company ad's are the worst offender's, i think. And also 'personal injury' ad's are really annoying too (and i worked for a claim's company). Beauty product ad's also annoy me. And i hate ad's that have nothing to do with the product they are trying to sell. What's the point in that?.

Should both partner's in a relationship make an equal effort?.

It takes two people to make a relationship work. So my question is: Should both people make an equal effort?.
Is it ok for one person to keep texting and calling the other person and making all the plan's?.
Is it ok for one partner to go 'awol' for day's and not make contact?. Is it fine for one person to take the other for granted?.
Is it really a relationship if it's just one person making an effort and the other person just sitting back and letting them?.

Dita Von Teese.

I love Dita. She is one of my 'inspiration's'.
She brought burlesque into pop culture. She's classy. She has her own style and she's created her own persona.
She has her own style and she isn't afraid to express herself.
She's an idol of mine because she isn't afraid of being who she is, and she inspires me to be feminine and not to care if i am a little different.

Burlesque dancing isn't sleazy.

I love dancing. And i love burlesque dancing. I perform a little routine in my bedroom, where no- one can see. I don't strip, just dance.
I hate how people call burlesque sleazy. It isn't. It's about femininity and glamour. It's about being sexy and naughty and still being ladylike. It's about embracing your body and loving it. You don't have to be thin to do burlesque. You don't have to be athletic or super fit. All you have to do is let go of your inhabitions.

So i made the right decision after all.

When i met my boyfriend, i was kinda seeing someone but he wasn't exactly enthusiastic about dating me. I went on a date with my David and i had such a good time that i knew i wanted to be with him, so i had to tell the other guy that i had met someone else.
He didn't take it well.
Today i found out people he worked with hates him. He even get's his mother to fight his battles for him. He's 31.
I know i sound like a bitch but i could never have fallen for him. I have no respect for him.

Tonight was just what i needed.

Been feeling a bit dis-connected from my friend's recently, until tonight. I've been talking to a very good friend and he put me as number one on his friend's list :) that made me happy.
Just by having a catch up made me realize that we have the kind of friendship that can survive not talking everyday. I should make more of an effort to talk to him more. He helped me through a difficult time and we will alway's be there for each other. That's what count's at the end of the day.

Are we too shallow?.

Is it true we put look's over personality?. I admit i've done it in the past, and it didn't work out too well.
My boyfriend think's he's outta shape, but i think he's hot. What makes him hot in my eye's is the fact he is cute and adorable but he also makes me laugh and is good to me. I don't care that he's put on a couple of pound's.
Look's can fade. They can be mis-leading. Someone's personality is all that matter's at the end of the day. Sometimes beautiful looking people are actually the ugly one's.

Why i can't give blood.

I once asked about how i would become a blood donor, and the reply i recieved was "you can't".
The reason? i can't even have a simple blood test done without the nurse/ doctor having to poke around for a good 10/15 minutes because it seem's i have no vein's. I actually think the right side of me has no blood at all lol as they can never get blood from my right arm.
So i can't be a blood donor. My blood seem's to be in short supply and i just don't have any blood going spare.

Could you be an internet addict?.

I googled internet addiction as i wondered if it actually exsisted. It does.
Reading about it made me question how much we do rely on the internet, and could we live without it?. I couldn't live without it. I have a blog to write, and friend's to talk to on facebook.
So i rely on the internet, but am i addicted to it?. What would i do if i couldn't have the internet?. Does my life revolve around the internet too much?.
I don't know, but i do know that i can waste several hour's on it doing nothing.

Rihanna's s&m.

I may be bad, but i'm perfectly good at it ;)
I love this song. After 'Take a bow' it's my favourite Rihanna song. It's fun and sexy and it makes me wanna get up and dance.
I don't get what all the fuss is about with the video either.
Ok, the song is raunchy, but it's not like Rihanna released a porn movie as a video. Good for her for pushing the boundaries.
I think Rihanna is going to be around for a long time. I hope she keep's making awesome song's.

My boyfriend mean's the world to me.

He is the man of my dream's. He tick's every box of my 'dream guy' list. I really can't imagine my life without him.
He isn't just my boyfriend, he is also my best friend (yeah, that sound's cheesy). I can talk to him about anything and everything, and he alway's make's me feel better. He's fun to be around. He just make's my life better. And i just wanted to tell him just how special he is to me.

Am i a fashionista?

I don't read Vogue. Or spend thousand's of pound's on clothes. And i don't really dress in the latest trend's. So that wouldn't make me a fashionista.
Or would it?. Fashion is about individuality and expression, and the clothes i wear are an extension of the person i am. I think clothes should express who you are as a person, and i like being a little 'different' and a little quirky. I don't go OTT but i like to stand out a bit. I don't like dressing the same as everybody else.

Today's been a good day (so far).

I was late meeting my boyfriend. By half an hour. But except for that it was fun.
We looked at tv's and then we had lunch at mcdonalds (we sat at a dodgy table) and then we looked at t-shirt's and belt's.
I like shopping with my boyfriend. I've been there when he's bought stuff before, and i like 'advising' him on his clothes. It's all part of the girlfriend duty i think.
I do miss him so much when we're apart, but it help's that we have fun when we are together.

Girlie thing's i've never got the hang of....

Hair removal cream. Eyebrow plucking. Walking in stilettos. Getting my hair poker straight (it refuses). Painting my toenails (i end up painting my toes too). French manicures. Stopping ladders in tight's. The pedicure's with the fish (i don't want fish anywhere near my feet). Leave in conditioner.
There's probably a lot of thing's that i haven't got the hang of yet lol.

What would you rather have: Money or love?

I'd pick love everytime. Yeah, it would be cool to have money, but you can't snuggle up to money while watching tv or lying in bed. You can't go out on romantic walk's with money.
Money may buy you everything in the world, but can it make lonliness go away? or make you like yourself more? or even mend a broken heart?.
It may sound cheesy, but sometimes love can do more than money ever could.

How do i make up for the past?

I think i have to learn from my mistakes. I have to stop living in the past and remind myself that i've grown up and i've changed.
I wanna be a success. I wanna settle down. I dont wanna dream my life away. I wanna live it. I wanna make the people i love proud of me. I wanna have my own house and make my boyfriend happy. I wanna be a good daughter, a good girlfriend and a good friend.
I dont wanna live in the past. I have a bright future and im gonna live in it, not in the dark past.

My favourite song's by some more of my favourite singer's.

Martina Mcbride: Wrong again.
Celine Dion: To love you more.
Barbra Streisand: Woman in love.
Sheryl Crow: My favourite mistake.
Alanis Morissette: Hand's clean.
Shelby Lynne: All of a sudden you dissapeared.
Faith Hill: The hard way.
Anastacia: Cowboys and kisses.
Dolly Parton: Jolene.
Sarah Mclachlan: Possession.
Kendall Payne: Supermodels.
Shania Twain: Home aint where his heart is anymore.
Meredith Brooks: What would happen?.
Vonda Shepard: Will you marry me?.
Sophie B Hawkins: I need nothing else.

The person i am now is.......

Not afraid of taking chances. Not afraid of being in love. Is able to commit to one man. Is happy being in a relationship. I express myself. I stand up for myself. I am confident in my abilities. I am not afraid to face problem's. I dont run away from problem's. I can stick to a job, no matter how boring it get's. I am fun and friendly. I can get over my shyness. I am not afraid to say i am in love. The only attention i need is from my boyfriend, and i dont want any other male attention. Im the real me now.

I've made a lot of mistakes in my life.

I didn't get my GCSE's at school. I didn't stick at college. In some previous jobs ive quit when thing's have got tough. I dated guy's with issue's so i didn't have to face mine, I never followed my dream's, I made an idiot of myself many times, i let people control my thought's, i didn't stand up for myself.
I could go on, but i wont.
Half of the problem was the lack of confidence i had in myself. The other half, i think i wanted to be 'carefree and free-spirited'. But i was just making myself unhappy.

I've made some cringe-worthy mistakes when it comes to men.

Im not proud of my past. Looking back, no wonder not many of my crushes liked me back.
I was the girl you dont want. I told all my friend's i liked him. I would go out of my way to talk to him (pratically stalk him). Even when i knew he had a girlfriend, i would still hang around and hope he would fall for me. I would change myself for every crush i had.
I once even gave my number to every lad i met.
I was humiliated several times. I was desperate. Looking back, i hate how i acted back then.

I wish i voted for Olly Murs on X factor.

I liked Joe Mcelderry on x factor. I loved his voice, and although i liked Olly, I wanted Joe to win.
And then he did. And im not been funny, but he's made some not very good song's since winning (which is a shame).
But i love every song Olly has released and his album is fantastic. I wish i had voted for him on x factor. Looking back, he was more versatile than Joe.
I may be a little late, but i am officially team Olly.

Some of my favourite song's by my favourite artist's.

Bon Jovi: Always.
Katy Perry: Waking up in vagas.
Pink: U + ur hand.
Lady Gaga: Poker face.
Rihanna: Take a bow.
Adele: Chasing pavement's.
Stereophonics: Bartender and the thief.
Britney: Born to make you happy.
Christina: Keep's gettin' better.
Madonna: Into the groove.
Jennifer Lopez: Love dont cost a thing.
Saturdays: Karma.
Pixie Lott: Hold me in your arms.
Enrique: Escape.
Mcfly: I'll be ok.
Overtones: Gambling man.
Cher: Just like Jesse James.

Was Audrey Hepburn the most sophisticated woman ever?

I think she was. I watch her movies and i just think she looked amazing.
She is one of my all time idol's just because she was classy and sophisticated.
I think Holly Golightly is my favourite ever movie heroine. The reason is simple. Audrey Hepburn gave an amazing performance as Holly. She showed a vulnerability that made me identify with Holly.
Audrey is like Marilyn Monroe in my eyes. A true legend who will live on forever.

I have way too much stuff.

I didn't realize until today that i do have way too much stuff. Im not quite sure how i accomulated so much stuff, but i have.
I didn't believe my mum when she said that all of the cupboards in the house had my stuff in. It's only now when i went in to get something i realize she is right. I have enough stuff for 6 people. I dont even realize i have half of it.
I think i will have to get rid of a lot of it.

Im no longer comparing myself to other girl's

I may not look like Jordan, but im pretty. Im not 'fake pretty' im just 'me pretty'.
Im not a size 4 but im not fat either. Im a healthy, curvy size 14.
I dont have a zillion friend's but i do have people in my life who love and care about me.
Im not a genius, but im smart. Yes, im girly and scatty but at least im not boring or dull.
I may be moody at times, but the other times im fun.
I may not have the biggest boobs in the world, but they're all mine.
Im just me and that's all i can be. Myself.

Diane Kruger.

She is my style crush. She always looks amazing on the red carpet. I haven't disliked anything she has worn yet.
She always looks stylish and sophisticated and glamourous.
She is a former model, so, of course, she is beautiful. Plus she's dating my teen crush (well, of one my teen crushes) , Joshua Jackson. Also i think she's a really good actress. I think i actually wanna be Diane Kruger lol.

My friend leaving in less than a month.

She and her partner are moving to be closer to his daughter, and at first, i was sad that she was leaving, but now im ok with it.
We both have changed in the 5+ years i have known her. She has set up her own (part time) business and developed a happy relationship with her partner (after a lot of up's and down's).
Im moving on in my life too. I am in a happy relationship and im growing up (not acting like a teenager). Im not getting sad about the future, im actually looking forward to it.

Why i love the tv show 'Monk'.

It's my favourite show (when it was on anyway). I loved the whole quirkiness of the show, and the fact it had the ability to make you laugh one moment and cry the next.
The show also had some bizzare murder mysteries (like how could a man who had been in a coma for years have commited a recent murder? and also, one episode had a chimp as the prime suspect in a shooting).
Whenever i watch Monk i am put in an instant good mood, and that' another reason i loved the show.

Cher (the superstar, not the x factor one).

Everybody calls Madonna the 'queen of pop' but i wonder if the title should really belong to Cher.
After all, she has been around since the 1960's and, like Madonna, has re-invented herself more than enough times.
She, unlike Madonna (who i do love, by the way), is also a successful actress and has been nominated for an oscar (if my memory is correct).
I think Cher should be crowned ultimate queen of pop.

Why do tv show's make college/ uni look so glamourous?

I never went to uni but i did go to college and it was less than glamourous.
All we did was wait around for tutor's to come and teach us and sitting in the canteen with a friend who was more than a little obsessed with a tutor and she would sit in the canteen and wait for him for hours on end instead of going to lessons.
College was like high school for me. Not good. I dont think i would go back to college if i had the chance. I dont think i could go back to being a student at the grand old age of 30.

I am a girl who loves meaninful lyrics.

When i hear a song for the first time, i listen to the lyrics over the music. I love songs that have meaningful lyrics. I dont like a song just because it's upbeat or you can dance to it.
I used to just listen to cheesy pop bands and boy bands when i was a teenager, but as i got older, i started listening to more 'mature' music and loved it.
I may not have the coolest taste in music, but the music i do listen to represents who i am as a person.

My top 5 favourite bands.

1. Bon Jovi: I love all their song's and never get tired of them.
2. They might be giants: Quirky and a bit random and not very 'mainstream'.
3. Stereophonics: I love the lyric's of their songs. Most of their songs really are mini stories. And some of them are really dark.
4. ABBA: Yes, really. They changed pop music and that's why they are more than some cheesy pop group.
5. Savage Garden: They made beautiful and meaningful song's.

My favourite song of all time is....

They might be giants 'Birdhouse in your soul'. At first, it doesn't seem to be anything, just a random song, but if you really listen to the song it's actually very meaningful. I think so anyway. I think it's saying that even if you think that you're alone and you have nobody, you actually do have somebody looking out for you and you're not alone after all.
Plus it's very upbeat and a 'happy' song. I will never get tired of hearing it, and that's why it's my favourite song.

I was watching 'Chuck' earlier and i realized...(spoiler alert)

Sarah and Chuck have to be one of my favourite tv couples. It started out as Chuck having unrequinted love for Sarah, but after a while we (the viewer) realize that Sarah is in love with Chuck too and then when they get a chance to run off and be together, he doesn't want to and then (eventually) they become a real couple. And, yeah, they have problems but they get through them.
They make a great team, and that makes them a great couple in my opinion.

International woman's day.

I think that it's good that women are celebrated for the thing's we do to make the world a better place, but while i was raised by a pro-woman (not really a feminist) i prefer equality over pro-feminism.
I think men and women should be equal. I think that men get just as bad deal as women do sometimes. Yeah some men can be bastards but some girl's can be bitches.
I wonder when 'international men's day' is. Do they even have one? if not then someone should start one.

I do sound really depressed sometimes.

Im really not. in 'real life' i am quite an upbeat person. I think it's just the fact that i write about life situations on here makes me sound more depressed than i actually am.
I am going to try to be a bit more upbeat on here from now on. Unless something really pisses me off and then i will be a bit moody, but the general tone of this blog will be more upbeat (hopefully lol).

I dont know who the people are who actually are better off on benefits.

I am not one of those people. I cant believe how little my boyfriend and i are going to have to live on when we move in together.
Luckily i am good at budgeting. Well, ive read a lot about it so i think we should be ok.
I just cant believe that people are actually better off on jobseekers allowance. They must have kid's or something. Why are couples without kids and single people without kids suddenly becoming discrimanated against?

Sorting out finances.

I never thought i could enjoy dealing with financial stuff, but i am enjoying it. weird lol.
Maybe it's because i want to move in with my boyfriend so badly, and in order to do that i have to look into the financial situation, maybe that' why im enjoying it.
Im learning about stuff i didn't know before. Thing's like credit union's. I was worried that we may struggle, but i know that if we budget we will be fine.

The new brother's in "Home and away".

They've only been in 2 episodes, but i already want the new brother's in "home and away" to leave.
I dont like macho-macho men in real life, and on tv they are even worse. And the 3 brother's on H&A are no exception.
I know a lot of people think they're hot, but i dont. I think they're annoying, and to be honest, there's enough annoying character' on H&A at the moment without adding another 3 to the cast.

Jane Russell

I just read that Jane Russell has died. I am not familiar with a lot of her acting roles, but i love her in 'Gentlemen prefer blondes'.
Her character, Dorothy, is sassy and sarcastic and loyal to Marilyn Monroe's character (Lorelai). I adore Marilyn so much, and any actress that can make me like her character more than Marilyn's character has to be good.
It's sad Jane Russell died, but hopefully she will live on in her film's for generation's to come, just like Marilyn will.

T-Shirt's with skulls on.

I go shopping with my boyfriend and i've noticed that there are lot's of men's T-Shirt's with skull' on them.
And i do mean a lot. Almost every men's T-Shirt's i pick up/ look at has a skull on it.
It got me thinking. Do men like skull's? Was the need of skull T-Shirt's too great to ignore? im not sure why there are lots of T-shirt's with skull's on them but they're there.