I think i am a bad girlfriend.

I have the sweetest boyfriend ever and sometimes i feel that i am a shit girlfriend.
Today i was ill and i got a bit moody and emotional. I get like that when i'm tired or ill. But he was his usual sweet self.
I really love him and don't wanna lose him, it's just sometimes i feel that i don't deserve him and worry that one day he is going to figure out that he can do better than me.
I will have to try to be a better girlfriend from now on.

My anxiety seem's to be kicking in....

At the moment i am constantly worrying about stuff.
And worrying about worrying.
I am aware that it's anxiety. I used to suffer panic attacks, and i know the symptoms of anxiety.
I will just have to find some way of dealing with all of my worries in a more productive way other than worrying.

Some thing's i wanna do in my life.

I wanna be a receptionist (or admin assistant). And then a secretary. And then an office manager.
I wanna live in a semi-detached house with a little garden in a nice area.
I wanna stay in a hotel for a while. Just to experience it.
I wanna start my own internet business. It may not make me a millionaire but it's something i wanna do.
I have a lot more things i wanna do. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

I have to change something's in my life.

I can't just sit back when i am so unhappy with the way my life is at the moment.
I need to take action and start doing thing's that are actually going to make my life better.
I have to make a list of everything i wanna change and then take action from there.
My life is a bit of a mess and i am determent to turn my life around. somehow.

Being un-friended by someone on facebook.

It's happened to me twice this week. One friend closed her account and the other one just un-friended me, which i am pissed about.
We do have a 'complicated' past and he's messed me around more times than i care to remember, but i thought that was all in the past.
I was wrong.
We started out as friend's and we have friend's in common and now it's like all the shit we've been through was for nothing.
I should've just cut ties a long time ago and not bothered about trying to remain friend's.

Hayfever symptom's without the hayfever.

That's what i am experiencing at the moment. My mum thinks that i have hayfever but i'm not sure.
Can you have symptoms even when the pollen count is low?.
I am new to hayfever so i don't really know.
I don't have asthma or allergies (that i know of anyway) so i am ruling them out as the cause of the symptoms.
I don't know what i have but i know that i probably will have to find out.

So Dannii Minogue has quit the x factor.

And i quit watching it. Dannii was the only judge i liked and now she's gone i don't think i will watch.
Especially if Tulisa (?) from n-dubz join's. I am not an n-dubz fan. It's not my kinda music. Has she even performed on it?
Maybe if they replace Dannii with a judge i really like (like Pixie Lott or Katy Perry) i may watch it, but i think it may be time for the x factor to come to an end.

The eurovision song contest.

Yes i am watching it. I know, but my mum loves it and makes me watch it with her.
Two song's in and i'm already wanting to kill myself.
I kinda like the 3rd song tho so hopefully it should get better. I'm still not sure if my ears can take listening to Jedward. Or Blue come to that.
I do like Denmarks song (the 3rd song) so i hope that wins. Probably won't but theres no harm wishing.

I'm gonna make a 'fashion folder'.

I have 2 plastic wallets full of magazine fashion pages and i draw fashion sketches so i have decided i am putting them all together in a ringbinder.
I am gonna create a fashion folder. I am gonna put all the clothes i like from the magazine in the folder and all of my sketches. And it will be a bit more organized than it is now.

I have closure on the person i was.

I am determent i am going to finish college. I didn't quit or runaway when things got tough. I can get through situations i hate if i set my mind to it.
I didn't change who i was just to fit in with people. ie, i didn't discuss my sex life and flirt with guys like a lot of girls do.
I spoke to everyone in both my groups and i hung out with the guys not to flirt with them but just because i have more in common with them than some of the girls.
After wednesday i am closing the door on the person i was. In the past year i have worked hard on my confidence and to be a better person. I am the person i wanna be. I have issues but i will deal with them as i go along in my life.
Goodbye to the person who made bad choices and let fear rule her life. Hello to the confident and capable and strong woman i have become.

So...where do you find temporary accomodation?.

Basically, my mum is sick of living where we live. She hates everything about the place she lives.
She has a medical condition and she (and her doctor) think that something is making her ill. She thinks it's the fact she hates the place she lives.
Anyway, today she asked me to try and sort something for me to stay while she looks into her moving. But google just doesn't wanna help me :( And i just dunno where to start looking.